Aidin Vaziri | Because the world is so desperate for new material from the Guns N' Roses camp -- in any form -- the premiere album from rock super-group Velvet Revolver arrives under such intense security that journalists are allowed to hear the appropriately titled "Contraband" only over the phone before it hits stores this week.
Q: So I heard the album over the phone. It sounds just like Nickelback.
A: Oh, come on. I was in a bar in a hotel in London recently and the DJ played our song right after Nickelback and it's definitely nothing like that.
Q: Maybe you should have flown me out to London to hear it for myself.
A: I just wonder if they put the handset right up to the speaker or they have some way of hooking the phone up to the stereo.
Q: I think they take the phone, dip it in the toilet, scotch-tape it to an intern's forehead and then play it through his nose.
A: I have to talk to someone about that.